She is significantly better.
It has been for more than a month since my friend Sarah (not her real name) tried to kill herself. Because it was not safe for her to stay by herself anymore, I’ve been staying with her since then.
I never knew I could do it. I have a hard time dealing with people who have depression. But I also believe God does not cause a person to suffer in vain, just like the verse in 2 Corinthians, 1:4, “…so that we may be able to console any who are in affliction with the consolation with which we ourselves are consoled by God. ” We suffer so we may help those who are suffering, and for me, this is the best answer to all the existing plights in the world, and also the best answer of my purpose of life.
Sometimes, she lies down on the floor; she screams. She punches the closet; she hits her head against the wall. I would go near her and hold her in my arms. I couldn’t stop my tears because I know how much she is suffering. When she is in great pain. I am too.
When she started to curse God, I felt exhausted. I could not do anything anymore.
On Saturday, my friend took her to another house to spend the weekend so I could have some sleep. She went reluctantly. I could do nothing but pray for her. She is not a Christian yet, and I know what she needs the most is the Lord, more than anything else.
On Sunday, like a miracle, Sarah called me and told me that she finally understood it was not God who manipulated her life; it was the devil. She believed that God wants good things for her.
I almost burst into tears.
Since that day, her condition has been better. She told me for the first time in her life, she felt happiness, a pure happiness with no condition. I know God is working, because the same thing had happened to me before. God has blessed me significantly, He will bless her more.
My friends are amazed by how I try to help her, and how patient and understanding I am, but I know better. The love, patience and non-judgemental attitude are not natural to me. I am trained by God, step by step. Sometimes she tells me that she feels guilt because she needs me to be with her. But she does not know, she has made my life better, because I’ve never been so close to God. God is doing His miracle on both of us. He is changing our lives, not only hers.